What are Essential Manners for Children (A Guide for Parents)

Nowadays in this modern world, this fact has been proven and has become obvious that manners for children are far more important than information or education. If a well-educated person has no manners he will be considered, of course, a rude person and will earn a bad reputation.

islamic family eating on dining table

Amongst all the countries in the world, the education system of Finland and Japan is considered the best and we see that there is no early education in those countries but they only focus to teach them manners (according to their societies) till a certain age. Therefore teaching manners to children is mandatory and it is not only the responsibility of society but also it must be done by the parents themselves.

This point must be kept in mind before reading that this article is written not only with the Islamic point of view and references but the under-mentioned manners are also well known and considered valuable in every society of the world. Of course, the choice of a baby’s name can have a lasting influence on their manners, habits, and identity as they grow. So you can look into tips before choosing a baby name. These etiquettes and manners will not only improve the personality of the children but surely they will be very beneficial for them in their upcoming life. So, let’s discuss them one by one.

1. Be Patient on the Dining Table

The first thing is to teach them to be patient at the dining table. Let us discuss and understand this manner with a situation. Imagine that everyone is sitting at the dining table and a child comes and without the care of the elders, he takes out food into the plate for himself and sits down.  How bad does that feel?  This is a very bad habit. It is considered a very bad manner.  Children should be told that they must not take out the food for themselves before the elders. Parents and elders must be given priority at the dining table and then the children.

a). What this manner will give the children

This will give the children patience and they will learn to wait for their turn to take the food.  This important manner, surely, will be helpful for their grooming personalities and it will be very useful for them in their future life.

b). How elders will be respected

For example, if you are telling the children that first of all the elders must be allowed to take food and afterward their turn will come, what will be the benefit of that?  Not only will the child take care of the elders but surely, he will also take care of the fact that when it is his turn, he will do his work.

c). A common problem in 3rd world countries

We have seen that people are standing in lines and a person comes from behind and he is trying to get ahead, he is pushing.  So this is considered a bad manner. If he has been taught since his childhood that he has to be patient and wait for his turn, then this is the only way to make him learn to respect. So we see that this manner is of utmost value and children must be taught this.

muslim parenting in quran

2. Always Knock on the Door Before Entering

The second thing which is essential to learn is to knock at the door whenever you enter.  It is a very bad thing that children come without knocking in the room. This is not only for the other’s home but it must be followed in your own house. Children must learn that whenever they will enter to their parent’s or sibling’s room they must knock.

a). Examples form the Holy Quran

Knocking on the door is all about asking permission to enter and if it is granted then enter the room. This is also mentioned in the Holy Quran:

“But if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given to you. And if it is said to you, ‘Go back,’ then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is knowing of what you do.”

Surah An-Nur, 24:28

On another place, it has been mentioned that you ask for permission thrice. From here one can understand the importance of knocking or asking for permission.

“O you who have believed, let those whom your right hands possess and those who have not [yet] reached puberty among you ask permission of you [before entering] at three times:…..”

Surah An-Nur, 24:58-59

b). Examples from Ahdeeth

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that you must ask for permission and if it is not granted then return back and don’t feel bad about it.

“If anyone of you asks the permission to enter thrice, and the permission is not given, then he should return.”

Bukhari, Isti’dhan, 13

However, if a person thinks that the owner of the house did not hear the knocking, he/she may knock on the door more.

c). Example from a daily routine

A few days ago, some friends of my children came to our home. One of the children came out of the guest room for some work and went into the other room. After some time his friend followed him to call him back and he entered without knocking. Recognizing this mistake at once I told him what is wrong here and explained to them that they must enter after knocking on the door.

If children will not be taught then such bad manners will not be considered to be inappropriate. This is also a sign of modest and good-mannered families and by learning these qualities the whole life will be easy and without problems. Everyone must know that you have to sit where you have been made to sit; you have to take care of your limits.


We live in a society where manners do matter and tomorrow your children will take advantage of this. Their lives will be easier and people will love them. Otherwise, bad habits become part of their personalities and people starting hate them. Therefore, parents must take pain to make them learn.

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